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aninfamousarmyFrom Wellington, in Spain (date unknown, unfortunately)
Gentlemen: Whilst marching to Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your request which has been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and then by despatch rider to our headquarters. We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's Government holds me accountable. I have despatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which i beg you your indulgence. Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling and nine pence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as to the numbers of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances since we are at war with France, a fact which may come as bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall. This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government, so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of the alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue one with the best of my ability but cannot do both. 1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy boys in London, or perchance, 2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
Oh I love that man! (Though possibly not as much aslatin_cat does. :D )
Gentlemen: Whilst marching to Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your request which has been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and then by despatch rider to our headquarters. We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's Government holds me accountable. I have despatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which i beg you your indulgence. Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling and nine pence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as to the numbers of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances since we are at war with France, a fact which may come as bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall. This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government, so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of the alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue one with the best of my ability but cannot do both. 1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy boys in London, or perchance, 2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
Oh I love that man! (Though possibly not as much as
latin_cat does. :D )
no subject
Date: 2012-05-30 12:06 pm (UTC)